Suddenly Lewis is standing in front of me. He looks at me and his face is pale. I look into my brother's eyes, want to tell him, want to say so much, but the words are locked inside. In no way can I produce a throaty sound. Am I never going to be able to speak? "How are you, Diana?" Lewis's voice is strange, and his eyes are red. I don't answer, I just raise my hands and signal: No! No! No! "Don't you want to talk?" Lewis does not understand what I mean, and I wonder how without words I will explain the matter to him. No! No! No! Again I gesture with my hand, desperate.